you know how early i was like "why was i with her?"
totally feel like i've lost part of my center...a part of me.
thats what hurts the most about it...thats a part of me that i'll probably never get back.
sure it'll regrow, maybe better...maybe not.
i'm tired of all my friends saying "get over it, she has issues." Well you know what, we all do. She did enough to even it out. And not even that, I WANT HER in my life. More than I wanted anything else. I dont want to be just another person relegated to the friend zone. I want her to be mine. (willingly, obviously)
and in the middle of writing this, i think this entry from melo changed my outlook and maybe my life
Stop your fucking whining right now. I am not here to comfort you or help you cry. I am not here to listen to your story and say, there there, everything will be okay. So stop your fucking crying.
You want to know why I don’t care about your sadness? Because you shouldn’t be sad. And I know, I know this is serious shit, and it’s important, and you don’t know what you are going to do now. But at the end of the day, it is just the same old shit that we all go through.
For the past month, I have been down and out. Over some broad that knows I love her, but doesn’t love me. She thinks of my love only as being awkward. And she still wants me to be her best friend. On top of that, I’m a failure at everything pretty much everything I do, and I have yet to do anything that my parents can be proud of. But you know what?
I’m fucking awesome.
Now, I will admit that I have never held a dying man in my arms, or any serious shit, but it’s all the same. People go through shit every day of their lives, and that is what life is. So grab a beer, pop a tart, and toast that you are still alive. Give a test to those who aren’t. Those that didn’t have a chance to complain about their stressful day at work but sit on their couch when it was all over. Those that died so you could be free. Gave their lives so you can hate yours.
You are fucking awesome. But you don’t want to admit it. You go through shit, day in and day out, and you live. You, are alive. The world cannot beat you. It cannot destroy you. There is no shame in defeat as long as the spirit is not conquered. So don’t fucking give up. You are a good, decent person, who is in hard times. You deserve somebody. You deserve a hug. You deserve a kiss at night. You deserve a friend. Don’t you ever fucking think differently.
You.
Are.
Awesome.
Start acting like it.
